She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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