His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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