Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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