Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
