there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
