yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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