I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
