Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
