Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize