Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
