We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
