8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
