u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
