I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
