I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
