Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
