He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
im six kinds of drunk right now
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
