Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize