he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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