What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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