i don't like sucking hair
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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