ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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