sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
