Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
