I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
