bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
