On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
