Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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