so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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