the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
