I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
is wine microwaveable?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She's the barista slut.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
