Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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