not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
