wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
