Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
