he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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