I'm eating all of the evidence.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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