Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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