well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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