just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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