So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
