I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
