whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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