yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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