My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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