he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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