I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
