i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
