So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
