Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize