i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
