She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
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