i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
