Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
