apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
How does one acquire holy water?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
