I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
