"it" just moved
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
