Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
