careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
